easy riders

Okay kids, this will probably be the last blog entry. we leave for home tomorrow night and we're busy busy busy here in vietnam. buying gifts for all of you is a full time job. so far we're bringing back all of our leftover change (worth so much in the usa) and some handi-wipes from the airplane. don't fight over who gets the handi-wipes. there are enough for everyone.

so. where did we leave off? i can't remember, so i'll skip to the present. right this second, we are in CAN THO, a little town in the mekong delta. how did we get here, you might ask? well. that's a long story. but first, a quick description of vietnam: nice people. like really nice.

delicious food (if you get it on the street or in the little sidewalk cafes. the tourist restaurants are total crap), the cutest children on earth and, most importantly, the best coffee we have ever had. you know about it. maybe you have had it yourselves. the water slowly drains through the strongest, tastiest coffee into your cup. maybe it takes 10 or 15 minutes. maybe it's only 1/4 of a cup. none of these things matter. you wait. you pine. you stir it to dissolve all of the sweetened condensed milk in the bottom and then you drink. and of course you want to order about 25 more because it took you 5 seconds to drink and it's so good. but you don't because then you'll have to run to the "WC" for a little while. what else? what else? vietnam is beautiful. a country of farmers and over 50 different ethnic groups. highlands, beaches, jungle, even a red desert. we love it here. there is also, of course, the political, colonial and local history that is too complicated to get into here. someday. we're learning a lot about it from the people who lived it, however, and let's just say it's a long story. we'll have you over for dinner and we'll talk about it.

so, back to the present. the vietnamese government operates a tourist trap, i mean, bus. you buy a ticket and you can get on and off anywhere they stop. unfortunately, they stop where all the tour companies and tourists are located. so the "real vietnam" is almost impossible to find. understandable, as the tourist industry is a real economic help to many people here, but really, why do we want to eat a hamburger in vietnam? why do we want to play pool in a bar with a bunch of other tourists from europe and australia? we don't. but before we knew any better, we had our open bus ticket from nha trang, a very touristy beach town to da lat, the mountain coffee town in the central highlands of vietnam. also known as "the city of flowers" (it's true!) and "the city of strawberries" (again, true!).

the bus driver was an axe murderer. probably the meanest person ever born. also, there was no air conditioning (even though they advertise a.c.) and the trip was not the stated 5 hours, but 8. also, the bus was filled with more tourists going to the same place we were. not exactly the "real vietnam". we were miserable. sweaty. tired and starving. our moods did lilft a little when we saw how beautiful da lat is, though. our kind of town. anyway, the bus pulled in to the government-run tourist agency, where about 10,000 guys surrounded it, trying to get us to stay in their hotels or sign up for their tours. we were flustered, to say the least, and then, literally the SECOND we stepped off the horrible bus, this guy rolls up and says "hello beautiful ladies! where are you from?" now, if this happens in new york, you might not respond, right? but this guy is on a japanese knock-off version of a honda superhawk (brandname "bonus"), he's wearing a blue jacket that says "easy rider" on the back and a huge shit-eating grin. we said "new york city!" and he says, "i love new york! good morning vietnam!" he proceeds to follow us down the street and direct us to our hotel and disappears. when we get to the hotel, he's sitting there on his bike, smiling and pretending to be shocked to see us. he makes us laugh and within ten minutes, he's won us over with his charm and personality. his name is bin, a.k.a. dunhill.

the easy riders are an institution in da lat. they were formed about 10 years ago by a guy who wanted to take tourists to see the real vietnam. away from the tourist traps and the "big metal box" (a.k.a. the dreaded bus). eventually they gained a reputation for being cool, safe, fun and almost always one of the best experiences tourists have in vietnam. a writer for lonely planet dubbed them the easy riders a few years ago and now they are a gang of about 70 guys that take people around the central highlands or as far away as hanoi and saigon. we knew a little bit about the easy riders from some of our very accurate and trustworthy vietnam guidebooks, but we had no idea. the afore-mentioned biker, Dunhill and two other amazing guys, Lu and Nghiep picked us up at 8:30 the next morning and off we went. they assured us we would see the "real vietnam" because they hate the tour agency spots and western food and crowds of tourists and cheesy trinkets just as much as we do. we were like, "suuuuuure, we've heard that before, but if we have to get on that bus one more time, we will die."

we have been with lu, nghiep and dunhill for five days now and we have only seen one or two other tourists since. to be sure, this is one of the best decisions we have ever made, maybe the best one on this whole trip. every day we ride 150-250 kilometers with our bags strapped onto the backs of the bikes, meeting local people and learning about the history and daily life in vietnam. we've visited silk factories, coffee farms, backyard rice wine "breweries", mushroom farms and brick factories. we've "helped" harvest rice, collect honey from the hive and shell cashew nuts. we have been welcome in the homes of so many of the most generous and curious people on earth. obviously we spend a lot of time with lu, nghiep and dunhill. these guys are the best. they keep their word. they have a million personal stories and maybe the worst "grandpa" jokes we've ever heard (yet, somehow, they're funny). they are walking encyclopedias, fully informing us on such things as the vietnamese perspective on the "american war", current events, economic growth, daily life and when to chill out in a hammock and drink coffee. we love them. we're never coming home. tomorrow we get up at six a.m. to check out the floating market and explore the mekong delta a little bit more. then we're off to saigon. a short stop in tokyo for some sushi and then we're home freezing home. warm theplace up for us.

love always. corey "easy rider" tatarczuk for matacodotcom.

banditas si, polvo no

cambodia. let's review. powerful ancient empire. controlled most of southeast asia as we know it under many successive god-kings. built the largest temple in the world. this period of greatness was followed by many periods of invasion, colonization, civil war and some of the most horrifying moments in history, revealing the absolute worst in human beings. pol pot. khmer rouge. killing fields. the united states played a very nice supporting role in many of the finer moments in this country's history. then it was 2007. the previous five years or so had brought an influx of tourists, looking to learn about cambodia or maybe to capitalize on the shock factor of the killing fields and other terrible things, as evidenced by the constant invitations to visit said places. mari, tara and corey showed up in phnom penh. dusty, friends. real dusty. so we got ourselves some scarves and turned into banditas. the scarves are good protection against emphysema. for real. we feel fine. really.

our tuk-tuk driver (who eventually told us all about his sordid past) took us to the famous angkor wat temples, and for three days we roamed through the magnificent ruins. it's true. everything you read. giant faces of serene tranquility. steep stone steps, giant halls of ornately carved columns and reliefs for 10,000 dancers to please the ancient king, stone elephants guarding bridges, grand gateways welcoming us to a ruined kingdom. only one problem: a zillion tourists taking photos. here is the sunset from atop the highest peak. here are all the people admiring the sunset. fortunately we made friends with some cool kids who taught us some khmer words and made us laugh.

the kids in cambodia are the most serious hustlers i have ever seen. they will work you, flatter you and bother you until you buy something. anything. postcards, t-shirts, bracelets, coconuts, water for your poor tuk-tuk driver. it's relentless and confusing. simultaneously understandable, heartbreaking, annoying and just exhausting. we bought a lot of postcards. hopefully you got one. at angkor wat we climbed some serious steps. let's take a look at those steps. now let's take a closer look at mari irizarry as she braves and overcomes her morbid fear of heights. she's a ninja.

angkor wat is a serious climb and deserves the "seventh wonder of the world" allocation it is trying to achieve. matacodotcom votes for it and you should too: http://www.new7wonders.com/

because the trees are taking over. check it out:


that is all. soon we will tell you all about our travels in vietnam. but i have to pee.

love, corey

love the airport

dearest fans. i have been at the bangkok airport for a few hours now. i have been to the magazine shop. the pharmacy. i ate at one of the delicious airport restaurants. i like to go up and down the escalator. to visit the magazine shop. there is a post office here, so i have filled out some more postcards. right now i'm standing at one of the coin-operated internet kiosks. amazing airport internet! can you believe it is coin-operated? no way! yes way! coins, friends. coins give me the whole world wide interweb. i checked my email. and my rapidly dwindling bank account. i read the new york times online. and i get to stand up! hey! guess what? in two hours i will be able to check in! then i wait for the plane to board. while i wait, maybe i will go to the magazine shop. i think there is a different one through the gate. different is good. i like different things. maybe i will take the elevator next time i go upstairs. maybe i'll take the escalator up and the elevator down. i love the airport. there are many people here. also, many planes. where am i going? to another country? nope. just to that magazine shop over there. the one with the esquire magazine from december. have you read it? it's pretty good. george clooney on the cover. he's pretty good too, not your average american celebrity. if there were a movie theater here that would be nice. but there isn't. however, there are many money changing stations. maybe i will change some money. thai baht into icelandic currency. just because i can. and because i love the airport. sorry there are not any pictures on this posting of your favorite travel blog, but there is no usb port on the coin-operated interweb kiosk machine (wow!). that's asking a little too much. so you will have to wait for the pictures of angkor wat and other fun adventures. because i'm enjoying the airport right now and i have very important things to do. and now i have to go on the moving walkway. so much fun, right? you know you love the moving walkway. and you love the airport too.

love, corey

i am a rogue state

yo. i know it's been a long time. don't be mad. we've been very busy. we're not on the beach anymore, lazing about with coconuts and tough decisions like whether to have a big beer or a small beer. no no no. we are learning. and now we will teach you the fruits of our knowledge. first of all, i have left the group to spend more time in thailand with my amazing friends and to get a lot of work done (you know i can't stop working). mari and tara went off to cambodia while i worked on a few things up for http://www.wedia.tv/ (check it out!) and got serious with the thai language. but mostly i chilled out. what? me?

first mystery solved: the thai people put the shirts on the dogs because they are worried about them getting cold. cause it's really cold in chiang mai (i guess). thai people are the sweetest on earth.

next mystery solved: gangkeowan or green curry. how does one cook green curry thai style, you may ask yourself? it's not as hard as you think, kids. as you can see. perhaps i will make it for you when i return. but you have to be nice. cause it's real good.


so before i became a rogue state, we all hung out in chiang mai for a few more days. we made even more friends, learned more about the food and now lucy and i plan to build a motorbike/food cart hybrid when i get back to nyc. we're quitting whatever jobs we have and we will now sell delicious thai food on the street for mad cheap. don't worry. we'll get freelancers insurance. and you'll eat kway theow and tom kha gai. so don't hate.

see how happy we are on our friend nid's bike?
later that day, nid took lucy and i to get our hair done. the ladyboys turned me into a character from knot's landing. they had a lot of fun with the curling iron. and hairspray. then lucy and i bought jeans. why? because we thought bringing jeans was a bad idea. too heavy. too long to dry. what are we? stinky almost hippie people? no we use the laundromat. so we bought some jeans. then we wore them to bangkok. we visited the royal palace, home of the emerald buddha and many beautiful ceramic tiles, statues, buddhist temples and a small scale replica of angkor wat. very touristy but highly recommended. observe the finer details:





















finally, after almost a month in thailand, we checked out a muy thai match. the stadium was darkened all around the ring. a jillion thai peple were signaling their bets and yelling. the boxers get into the ring, each one performing a dance to pay respect to their art, their teachers and each other. then they fight. we saw two knockouts that night, the first one in the first round. it's fierce. a muy thai fighters knee can deliver about 1600 pounds of force into his opponent's ribs. that's crazy times, kids. crazy times. i apologize for the bad pictures but i was really into it and couldn't deal with a camera. use your imagination: blood, posturing, skills, punches and kicks and knees and elbows. you got it.




















look! thai graffiti! mmmhmmm. also, tiny shrines. mmmhmm.






now i leave you with this image of the state of maine t-shirt that i found in a second had store in chinag mai. i cried a little bit. thinking of all you people freezing in my homeland. sorry about that. lovin you forever, corey.